Sunday, April 29, 2007

Thou Shalt Not

Do you know what my problem is? I'll tell you what my problem is! I care too much. Well, maybe not too much but more than I want to, anyway. The fact is, it's human nature to care.

I've befriended Piotr Smirnov's work and anything similar to it during good times and bad. He became dear to me, my confidant, my best friend. I drowned myself in his power when I was in despair. I realised that this can't last forever. It's time to find a long term solution.

I've been trying to get a whole new outlook in life; trying to make myself happy; trying to make myself feel good about life. It's hard when there are reasons. Caring is leading me to heartaches so my solution is, thou shalt not. I may be uptight but I am not as close minded as the previous sentence is making me sound. Obviously, I am referring to incidents, events and certain unfortunates. So, here I am in my world that longs for solitude and oblivion.

I haven't given up yet. I didn't forget what I said about not drowning myself in sorrow anymore. What am I doing to get out of this? I am going to have fun! By myself or with friends, I am going to have fun! Of course, what's fun for me might not be to another but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.