Thou Shalt Not

Do you know what my problem is? I'll tell you what my problem is! I care too much. Well, maybe not too much but more than I want to, anyway. The fact is, it's human nature to care.

I've befriended Piotr Smirnov's work and anything similar to it during good times and bad. He became dear to me, my confidant, my best friend. I drowned myself in his power when I was in despair. I realised that this can't last forever. It's time to find a long term solution.

I've been trying to get a whole new outlook in life; trying to make myself happy; trying to make myself feel good about life. It's hard when there are reasons. Caring is leading me to heartaches so my solution is, thou shalt not. I may be uptight but I am not as close minded as the previous sentence is making me sound. Obviously, I am referring to incidents, events and certain unfortunates. So, here I am in my world that longs for solitude and oblivion.

I haven't given up yet. I didn't forget what I said about not drowning myself in sorrow anymore. What am I doing to get out of this? I am going to have fun! By myself or with friends, I am going to have fun! Of course, what's fun for me might not be to another but frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.

Then and Now

G'Day mate! It just doesn't sound right when I say it.. and by the way, I hate that term "mate".

Ten moons ago, Jerry and I went to the Phoenix for the NIN listening party. We only stayed for about an hour to play pool for free then left. It was pretty lame. Anyway, we headed on to the Troub to see a friend's band called Hot Liquid Sex. Didn't stay very long either but it was a pretty good night. Paulie took a few photos and I'm still waiting for Jerry to ask Paulie for them.

The following day was my birthday. Aaaahhhhh my birthday... how relaxing.... I got a bottle of whiskey and a bucket of chicken.. Could anything be more perfect?

Actually, yes. A few days later when I came home from work, I opened the medicine cabinet.. and then... there it was... reaching out to me.. my new baby love.. my Nokia N70! Jerry bought it for me and it was supposed to arrive on my birthday but it arrived late. Nevertheless, it's here and I'm loving it!

Yesterday, I went to meet up with a friend of mine in the city after work. I haven't seen her in ages! She's going away next month. For how long, I don't know. On the same night, Jerry had an office dinner/party and headed to the footy game then went to the city for an office after-party. Fun Fun Fun *wink* *wink*

It hasn't been all sunshine and lollipops. Guns N Roses tickets were released two days ago and I still don't have mine. $100 was the cheapest one and I don't know if I can afford it.. I know it's not the original Guns N Roses line up. It's Axl Rose and his band. I mean, come on, Slash is half the Guns N Roses! They should have changed their name, really. But it would still be pretty awesome to see them live.

I'm Back, Baby

I've spent most of my time working my arse off and neglecting everything else. No more. I've come to a realisation.. I'm getting old. Yes, yes, everyone has experienced this when they're at a certain age and another birthday is coming up. I'm not gonna give a lecture on how this is different because this is exactly what it is. I'm getting old and I don't want to keep getting older with just my work in my life. So, hibernation is over. I'm taking it upon myself to live again; to do things again and not just drown myself in sorrow on how life sucks; take care of myself again and reach for what I want and deserve. I'm sure this is just a phase that I will eventually kill off or a phase that will tire me to an extent that it's me that will get killed off. Nevertheless, I am on a psycho holiday.

Here's what's happening:

A Nine Inch Nails listening party. That's this coming Wednesday. It's going to be at "Club Phoenix" in the city. It's like a new HMB. I've only been there once while waiting for Lidia to show up for her birthday dinner at Jo-Jo's. I went to Phoenix just to kill time and almost everyone there were 18 year olds. Maybe it was just that night, I don't know.. but oh well, good music was played. A bit of GnR and a bit of Ozzy Osbourne here and there.

Next up would be the Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero concert on the 7th of May (Monday) at the Riverstage. I bought the album this afternoon with the HMV gift card that little Julie gave me last year for xmas. Since all my computers are stuffed, I asked Jerry to rip it into MP3s from his computer and transfer it to my mp3 player so I can start consuming it on my way to work tomorrow.

If you've been paying attention and checking my blog regularly, then you'd know that the new Guns N Roses are touring, as stated on my previous post. Really, just the one before this post. I promise. Anyway, I don't have my ticket yet. They go on sale on the 26th of April (next Thursday). I hope I can afford it. The concert will be on the 20th of June at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre.

Here's a new band called "Hellyeah". Their first album, self titled, are in stores now, I believe. It consists of the elements of Pantera, Mudvayne, and Nothingface. I've listened to a few of their songs online. I really liked "you wouldn't know". Better be a good album.

I've also been losing a little bit of weight. It's not a conscious effort. It's more stress related. But weight loss is weight loss. My hair is also getting longer. That's the girly side of me. Here's another girly side of mine: I came across a scent that took my breath away... in a good way. Burberry London Women. Jerry is getting it for me.

I am also getting a new mobile phone. I think I speak for all of us that it doesn't come as a shock to anyone. I'm getting a Nokia and Jerry is going to get it for me. I "requested" a Nokia N70 or a Nokia 6680 as a second option.

I also need to update my wardrobe. I can't just live off t-shirts, cargo pants, fishnets, vinyl and buckles. By golly, I'm growing up.

Before I forget, I want to introduce my new lover.. Mr. Johnnie Walker. We've only been together for a few months but our relationship is flourishing. Whenever I hold him in my hands, I'm filled to the brim with girlish glee.

It's footy season and Jerry is obsessed with gpoker as well. I'm guessing those are the reasons why I've got plenty of time to catch up on my computer time. I've also been tinkering with my MySpace. Go check it out!

Guns N Roses Tour 2007

I'm feeling a bit nostalgic... thinking of the lone days (and nights) I spent with Guns N Roses partying in my head. The good ol' days..

In two months, June 20 2007 to be exact, Axl Rose along with the new members of GnR will rock Brisbane for their "Chinese Democracy" tour. Their new album that everyone thought was a myth. They'll soon prove us wrong, hopefully.

Rumored track list according to "Slash" is as follows:

01. "Chinese Democracy"
02. "This I Love"
03. "I.R.S."
04. "Thyme"
05. "Substitute"
06. "The General"
07. "Seven"
08. "Madagascar"
09. "Ides Of March"
10. "Catcher In The Rye"
11. "Leave Me Alone"
12. "The Blues"
13. "Closing In On You"
14. "There Was A Time"

Support acts! Sebastian Bach from Skid Row and Rose Tattoo, an Australian band.

We are the youth gone wild!! See you at the concert!

Retail Therapy

I've recently realised the importance of family. An environment that's familiar and safe.. An environment where I feel protected and secure even when at times it can be more than a person would want. Nevertheless, it's a place to run to when you just want to run away; an atmosphere to blend yourself in.

Niralyn, my cousin, and I used to go shopping all the time. We'd get there at 9:30am-10:00am when it opens and stay there until 8:00pm-9:00pm when it closes. She would spend the night sometimes and we'd model what we bought and stand in front of the mirror for some time. Aaahhh vanity...

My mother and Auntie Juanita invite me along when they go shopping. I enjoy it so. Probably because of the benefit of my mother's credit card. Nah.. not really. I need not worry about that since my mother taught me how to forge her signature so I could use it when I'm out by myself. Also, she gave me my own credit card as a secondary holder. I do enjoy strolling with them; listening to them gossip about things I don't care about; listening to them talk to retail sales people with much delight; and of course, the nice meal we all have afterwards.

I don't have a lot of shopping buddies. I like going shopping on my own more than anything. Sometimes, it's a team sport when I pair up with a companion. Michelle Y., a very dear friend of mine, is one of my favorites. Same deal, we'd get there when the shops open and stay there until they close. After the ritual, we'd have a footlong hotdog and coffee and talk about our day together.

Those were the days.. long gone but not at all forgotten.